That poor woman, I can’t imagine what she’s going through.
This is my first memory of Rosie Moss. Someone I went to school with knew Rosie. She shared a post on Facebook about the fact that Rosie’s husband had gone scuba diving off the Kent coast and was now missing. Rosie had three small children. Like I say, I couldn’t quite imagine what she was going through.
This was in March 2018 and while the story stayed with me as one of those stories you read via Facebook, I can’t say that I really wondered what had happened to Rosie and her family. I had an eight-year-old at the time, I was going through therapy after a particularly bad few months and I had no way of knowing that mine and Rosie’s paths would cross in the future.
But just over two years later, people were having the same thought about me. That poor woman, I can’t imagine what she’s going through. I had so many people tell me that they couldn’t imagine what I was going through. Because I had officially joined the club that no-one wants to be a member of. Widowhood. And I joined this club at the age of 39 with a 10-year-old daughter in tow during a global pandemic. Let’s face it. If you’re going to join a club, you might as well do it with one heck of a story.
Around this time, I read another news article about Rosie. She was in a new relationship, and her partner had been hospitalised with COVID-19. Not the same hospital as my husband but one in Kent, nonetheless. Once again, I remember thinking that poor woman and the memories of all she’d gone through in 2018 came flooding back. But I was merely trying to survive my own world imploding. I didn’t have time to think about anyone else. I was just about managing to hold everything together for me and my daughter.
I subsequently joined the charity WAY Widowed and Young and began sharing our story more. I always adopted the mentality that if just one person could be helped by me telling it, that could only be a good thing and something positive to come out of the nightmare we were living.
And then Rosie’s name came into my orbit again. Via the podcast Widowed AF. This was a podcast with the intention of giving a voice to those who understood widowhood. As with WAY, it gave me the opportunity to listen to others who had gone through what I was now living through. A sense of camaraderie. A weird sense of belonging. The first episodes I listened to had me crying on the dog walks. They were just so relatable. I applied to be a guest, and my episode recording was scheduled for August 2023. Five years since Rosie had been widowed. Three years since I had.
Recording the episode was like chatting to an old friend. It was just so blinking easy. I think I waffled for close to an hour and a half. Due to Rosie’s experience during the pandemic (thankfully with a very different outcome to mine) it was an emotional episode too. But that’s the reality of our lives. Emotional.
Fast forward to 2024 and Rosie came with her family to support me at CharlieFest, the fundraising event I host in memory of my late husband. Wids in the wild if you like! A few months later my daughter and I went to Widstock, an event Rosie held for the whole community but in particular for those living the widowhood life. Both of us staying in touch during the periods in between. Because that’s the thing with this new life. People cross your path who you’re unlikely to have met otherwise. Even when you live just 30 minutes apart.
And then 2025 happened. The year I published my book, Is Daddy Going to Be OK?. The year, coincidentally, that Rosie was also writing a book. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Rosie’s hit a slight delay, and I was able to introduce her to the wonderful team at Softwood Books who have been able to give so much guidance to both of us.
I recorded a Chatty AF episode with Rosie to coincide with my publication date. It was the first publicity that I did for my book, and I love the fact that it was not just with a fellow widow, but with Rosie. Someone who understood just how many conflicting emotions there were in doing something like this. Someone in my tribe who simply gets it. Rosie came to my book launch and snapped one of my favourite photos of me from that evening, so much so that I use it on my Amazon author bio. And this is what is so lovely about the widowed community. We have a myriad of stories and experiences as to how we ended up here, but the support we provide to one another is second to none. We cheer each other on.
That’s why in March 2026, I was able to reciprocate and attend the book launch of Rosie’s book, Widowed As F**K: A Guidebook for Grieving Your Partner. I had first-hand experience of all the emotions she would have been feeling on that day. There’s a word that’s used a lot in our community and really divides people, but it’s incredibly accurate for circumstances like this. Bittersweet. So proud of what we’ve managed to achieve. So devastated at what we’ve gone through to be in this position.
It’s taken me a few months to read Rosie’s book, but I recently took it on holiday with me. I read it in two sittings. It’s very different to my book in that it’s written as a guidebook for the bereaved and those supporting the bereaved. It tells Rosie’s story while interspersing it with examples from the podcast guests. Each of whom bring the various different elements to life. Sadmin. Complicated grief. Anger. Denial. Widow’s fire. I could go on, but I would no doubt be doing Widowed as F**k a disservice. I’d much rather that you went and read it yourself.
I tried to imagine reading this book in the early stages of my grief and bereavement. Because I found myself nodding along at so many moments. Smiling at situations that felt all too familiar. Welling up at the tough parts. Reading the COVID-19 chapter and thinking that poor family, before remembering that this was my family. I do that a lot when I read about us, it still feels surreal to think that this is our life and it really happened.
But I wondered if I could nod along and relate to it so well because I’m six years into this journey. Because I know from hosting the WAY New Member Zooms just how invaluable a book like this would be for those newer in. And this is by no means anything against the book, it’s more my world was so different because of when my husband died. I can’t help but suspect I’d have got annoyed at all the support others had been able to get and that is just so blinking valuable. I’d have been desperate for the world to open up so I could get everything I needed and give my daughter a shred of normality. I wonder whether I’d have put pressure on myself to get to some of the parts where you learn how to live again too quickly because I was so desperate for “normal.” I wonder whether I’d have found Widowed As F**k helpful or a hindrance if I’d read it early on.
And I know that Rosie won’t mind me being honest and saying this. Because she knows that everyone’s grief journey is different. And because of my lovely added layer of complexity with mine and the shut-down world with no real normal for anyone, my grief has been exceptionally complicated. Even the small things such as someone coming into my house and making me a cup of tea or being able to send my daughter to school and give her the routine she so desperately needed after her dad died weren’t an option for me. I almost felt a tinge of jealousy reading the book, as I do listening to the podcasts, about how different life would have been for us if my husband hadn’t died in a pandemic. To clarify. I am not jealous of anyone going through this experience. Every one of the stories that Rosie has shared, including her own, are heartbreaking. I wish there hadn’t been a need for either the podcast or the book.
But the simple fact is that there is a need. And in my opinion, there is there is a reason that the podcast won Gold for Best Interview (Interviewer of the Year) at the 2025 British Podcast Awards and the book became an Amazon bestseller so quickly. Both are so deserved. What Rosie has created is real. Her book is honest about grief and what this life is like. It doesn’t shy away from any elements. It gives helpful checklists for different stages of widowhood. And all of this is beyond helpful. I can’t help but feel if someone had bought this for me in the very early stages, I’d have looked at the checklists and saved the more difficult passages for later. I then would have no doubt bought copies for family and friends because when they asked how I was, I could have given it to them with two words “read this.” Because that’s what Widowed As F**k also helps with. Helping those who aren’t walking the widowhood path to understand a little of what it’s like. And that can only be a good thing.
Because the more open we are and the more stories that are shared, the more we help to break down the barriers of talking openly about death and bereavement. If you’ve never listened to an episode of the podcast, do yourself a favour and listen (it doesn’t have to be either of my episodes!). If you’ve ever wondered about appearing as a guest, do yourself a favour and apply, you won’t regret it because Rosie will put you completely at ease and your story might just land at a time that someone really needs to hear it. If you haven’t yet bought a copy of the book, do yourself a favour and buy one, I defy anyone not to find something in it that they can relate to.
And finally. I’m very fortunate that Rosie is now in my world. But it’s come at a very dear cost for both of us with the loss of two people.
Ben Moss. Stuart “Charlie” Charlesworth.
Two people who will be loved and missed forever. But I truly believe that as long as we tell their stories, speak their names and honour them by living, they are two people who will never be forgotten.
Life is a rollercoaster 